


This Bed Was Never Made For Two

by rosegoldlourry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 2012 One Direction, Anxiety, But only a little, Cuddling, Drabble, Fighting, Fluff, M/M, The X Factor Era, X Factor house, kind of based off of Don't Let Me Go, shouldn't be triggering but be aware there is mentions of anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldlourry/pseuds/rosegoldlourry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I can’t sleep,” he whispers, cuddling in close to Louis. The older lad doesn’t say anything as he wraps an arm around Harry’s side. He nuzzles into the touch, and lets his eyes close.</p>
<p>“This bed wasn’t made for two, Harold,” Louis jokes, but his voice is soft and Harry knows that he really doesn’t mind. </p>
<p> “But it feels too lonely with only one,” he finally responds.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he whispers, eyes staring into the younger boy’s. “Yeah, it really does Haz.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Bed Was Never Made For Two

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first post and I wrote this forever ago and finally rediscovered it so I thought I would post it. I hope everyone enjoys!

The room is silent and anytime Harry shifts in his bed, his mattress squeaks loudly. As he shuffles and hears the noise once again, he winces, silently hoping he didn’t wake up one of the other boys, especially Louis, who is lying in the bed below him. It’s somewhere around three in the morning and he hasn’t be able to sleep. He’s been up for hours now, worrying over One Direction not being through into the next week. Today was their performance of “Only Girl in the World”. And it’s not that he thinks they did badly, they all felt pretty confident on their singing, but they’re so close to the end. And Harry is so, so scared of going home that he’s getting a bit more insecure and anxious as the weeks go on.

They all just work better together. Whenever he sings without his boys, his voice just sounds wrong without Liam’s backing his up and Louis’ and Niall’s harmonizing with his and Zayn hitting the notes too high for him. And Harry knows that their competitors are amazing and they’re his friends, so of course he doesn’t wish failure on them. But he wants this so bad. Harry knows of no drug that will make him feel better than he does when he’s up on stage with a microphone in his hand and lyrics spewing out of his mouth. He doesn’t think he’s going to find anything he loves as much as singing and performing.

They’ve got so much to lose, and Harry isn’t sure that he’s ready to have everything important to him ripped out of his hands. Not only singing, but his boys, and Louis. And maybe if they don’t win, they’ll still get a record deal, but how can they be sure of that? 

Harry’s anxiety has been plaguing him before every performance and every elimination day since they started the competition. He tries to hide it from the boys, he really does, but it’s getting harder and harder for him to keep it bottled up inside. Harry’s always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and this situation is no different.

He sighs softly and buries himself deeper into the blanket that he has wrapped around his bare torso. His pillow is still a bit damp from when he was crying earlier but he ignores it and smashes his cheek into the fabric. The hole in his heart is just too large to handle tonight. He feels so lonely, even though he is in a room full of his four best mates. He’s the opposite of alone, yet he feels like he’s the only one on the planet. He wishes someone would crawl into bed next to him and hold him, stop the negative possibilities from swirling into his brain.

He lays there for what feels like hours trying to fight off his thoughts and fall asleep. It’s pointless though, there’s no way he’s going to be able to silence his worrying. He sits up in bed slowly, trying not to make any noise. Then, before he can change his mind, he crawls out of the bed and drops down on the floor a bit clumsily, but manages not to wake anyone up. He bites on the inside of his cheek as he looks down at Louis, who is sleeping on his side facing the younger boy. His hair falls softly on his pillow and his delicate hands hold the blanket close to his body. Harry gently pulls the duvet away from the older boy and attempts to crawl into bed next to him. It’s a tight squeeze but Harry manages to press his body close to Louis’ to fit.

Louis jolts awake, surprised by the movement of the bed and the body pressed against him. “Harry, what are you doing?” he asks, his voice scratchy from sleep. But instead of pushing him away, he moves back on the bed, giving Harry more room. Harry can’t help the small chant of, “Maybe, maybe, maybe…” in his head.

“I can’t sleep,” he whispers, cuddling in close to Louis. The older lad doesn’t say anything as he wraps an arm around Harry’s side. He nuzzles into the touch, and lets his eyes close.

“This bed wasn’t made for two, Harold,” Louis jokes, but his voice is soft and Harry knows that he really doesn’t mind. 

He looks at Louis and he lets himself get lost in his eyes, only having Louis to catch his moment of weakness. They’re a pretty gray-blue color, like the way the sky looks when it’s about to storm. Harry wouldn’t mind having his own storm cloud. Lou’s hair is messy but it looks so pretty the way it falls in his eyes a bit, getting caught in his eyelashes delicately. Harry realizes he waited a bit too long to respond and he’s glad for the darkness so Louis can’t see the sudden rosiness of his cheeks. “But it feels too lonely with only one,” he finally responds.

Louis expression softens and he brushes a hand through Harry’s curls, a lot gentler than he would if he were messing around. Harry knows that this touch is purely for comfort and not just to touch and his heart swells in secret love. “Yeah,” he whispers, eyes staring into the younger boy’s. “Yeah, it really does Haz.”

It’s quiet for a moment as the pair look at each other. After a minute Harry tucks his head into Louis’ neck and he’s almost positive he hears Louis sigh. He lets his body completely relax into Louis as the older lad gently twirls his fingers in Harry’s messy hair. He’s not surprised when he starts to feel himself drift off. He’s always been a big cuddler, but there’s something about Louis that feels like home. Harry tightens his leg where it’s wrapped around Louis’ and let’s himself finally fall asleep.

/////

“Do you think I like doing this, Harry? I don’t! I hate it!” Louis screams at Harry, throwing a pillow at the wall, just missing his head.

Harry shrinks in his seat at Louis’ furious tone. Lately, things have been tough for them. Their management thought they were becoming too much like boyfriends and less platonic and were no longer allowed to associate, disregarding the fact that they’re in a band together. They keep their relationship together behind the scenes but to the public, they’re just mates. Modest assigned Louis a beard, who he has to call his girlfriend and go on very public dates with. It’s hard for Harry to watch his boyfriend go out with someone else when he knows it should be him. Of course, it’s not easy for Louis either, considering he’s the one who actually has to go through with it.

Louis just got back from a date with Eleanor and Harry saw all the pap pictures. It’s safe to say that they’re both on edge, upset by the way things had to work out for them in the past year.

“I didn’t say you like doing it, Lou,” Harry mumbles, pushing his hair back, a nervous habit that’s he’s always had.

“Well, you sure as hell act like it is so hard for you, never mind the fact that I’m the one actually going on these fake dates! Never mind the fact that I have to kiss her!” Louis exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air. Louis is furious, hands balled into fists by his side, face red from yelling. The older lad is rarely this mad at Harry and quite honestly, it scares him a little bit.

Harry knows it's ridiculous to fight about this, but he can’t help but get annoyed. Louis isn’t the only one going through a hard time right now. Lately, he’s just so alone with Louis always out with Eleanor. And the thing is, he feels bad expressing his feelings to Louis because he knows it’s not his fault. But eventually keeping everything bottled up inside leads to what they’re doing now: a screaming match.

“You know what, Louis, it is hard for me. It’s not easy to watch the love of your life prancing around with some girl- holding hands and going to dinner! It’s so fucking hard! But you never seem to care how it affects me!” Harry finally screams, standing up from the couch and balling his hands into fists too.

Louis gets a sick smile on his face as he shakes his head. He turns to leave the room saying, “You can sleep on the fucking couch tonight.”

Hours later, Harry is still awake. He is indeed sleeping on the couch while Louis sleeps in their bed- alone. “At least Louis got a pillow and a blanket for me,” Harry thinks to himself. Even when they’re fighting they still think of each other before themselves. The thought makes Harry let out a quiet snort. 

Their fight replays in his head over and over and over again. He just can’t get the look of Louis’ face out of his head. It makes him curl into himself and pull the blanket tighter around him, squeezing his eyes shut to rid himself of the image. He doesn’t like making Louis mad and all he wants to do is make it better.

When Harry watches the clock flash 4:47 am, he decides he needs to get to sleep, and there’s only one way he can do that.

Harry pads down the hallway until he reaches their shut bedroom door. He turns the knob and to his surprise, the door is unlocked. He slips into the dark room quietly, shedding the blanket he has wrapped around his broad shoulders. He walks around to Louis’ side of the bed where he sees his boyfriend on his side, asleep, mouth open slightly and hair falling on his face. No matter how mad Harry is at Louis, he could never deny that seeing Louis like this makes his thoughts all jumbled. He gently peels back the blanket and crawls into bed next to Louis, curling into him as best as he can with the little room he has.

Harry can feel Louis waking up, his body stiffening when he realizes his boyfriend is now in bed with him. “What are you doing, Harry?” the older lad mumbles. He doesn’t sound angry, just curious with a hint of worry laced in with his groggy voice.

“Can’t sleep,” Harry answers softly, tilting his head up to look into Louis’ eyes. They’re the same blue-gray color as in the X Factor house, now just with a bit more maturity dulling the colors. Harry just wants to drown in Louis’ eyes and never face the world where they have to constantly hide and hold themselves back from being happy.

Louis sighs but moves farther back on their large bed onto the side where Harry usually sleeps. The younger lad happily snuggles into the warm sheets where Louis was laying. He pulls his boyfriend closer by his wrist and nuzzles his face into Louis’ neck, rubbing his own soft skin against Louis’ unshaven chin. He doesn’t push him away and Harry takes that as a good sign. There is a moment of silence while they’re just curled into each other, like pieces of a puzzle, before Harry breaks the quiet.

“Lou, I’m really sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

Louis sighs and pets a hand through Harry’s hair. “I know you are, baby. But let’s talk about it in the morning, yeah? Just sleep.”

Harry nods his head and pulls Louis even closer, mumbling a soft, “I love you,” which Louis returns fondly. As Louis watches Harry fall asleep he realizes that they aren’t even taking up half of their bed. The only thought running through his head is “this bed was never made for two”.


End file.
